#or all of the above or just cry
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thinking about transistor again
(iām Normal)
#ghostie fandom rants#i need to replay it for the 10th time#or work on my Red cosplay#or do covers of all the songs#or all of the above or just cry#all and cry sounds good i love#transistor#transistor game
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i think that if kabru saw that ālaios meeting falin for the first timeā strip heād be sobbing uncontrollably
#feels like it is SO fundamental to understanding laios on a deep level#idk something about not expecting ācommon senseā from babies#something about how he is so deeply laios. maybe im just projecting#but that comic resonates with me SO hard#the lack of expression (taking her in) and the way he looks up for permission#and by that time his father already knows? that hes looking for permission to leave. he doesnt say it. he just looks.#and then! he runs to his kitty! and whispers like its a secret! hes a big brother now kitty!#and he whispers to the chickens! heās got a little sister chickens! shes called falin doggies!#to see laios as an adult and to know he cares for his sister is par for the course#to see that he was enamored with her the second he met her and told all of his friends is just. fuck#they tell you many times in the series that these siblings care for each other above ALL ELSE#like knowing that all people die is separate from knowing there is no reality for either of them that doesnt contain their sibling#im going insane over the touden siblings#but i think kabru would go through these same motions and cry idk#dunmeshi#labru#if you squint#kabru of utaya#laios touden#falin touden#dungeon meshi#bumblysdumbly
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you know Iāve been wondering why the phrase āHave mercy, for the spirited away shamans.ā in Elden Ring sounds familiar. I remember where that phrase is from now.
Fromsoft also used that to refer to all the children being kidnapped and died from the Senpou monks immortality experiment in Sekiro.
Thereās only one child who survivedā¦
That girl later on also ate two Great Serpent hearts so she could become a Divine Cradleā¦ essentially another vessel for the Divine Heir, a vessel for Divinityā¦
I wonder if that parallel is the reason why the Miko used to refer to Marikaās ppl is written as å·«å / Sekiro divine child is å¾”å (both pronounced as Miko / with å literally means children)
Itās like the more i think about it, the more Marika becomes the sum of all the Fromsoft girlies i have been mourning for for the past 4 years.
Enough. They canāt keep doing this to me ššš
#me loving Marika is me crying over Gwynevere Fire Keeper Arianna Queen Yharnam Divine Child#itāsā¦ if you know you know.#and the more i think about it the more i will keep wanting Marika to smile for her kids to never be taken away and they can ā¦just be#because none of those female characters above get a happy life and their stories got me crawl on the ground throwing up blood#and then they gave me Marika who is literally all of them in one person???#STOP THIS#maybe itās a curse that i remember way too many stuffs about Fromsoft games#it haunts me
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As gently and politely as I can put this: that post I made about outliving him is meant to be an anti-suicide affirmation. It is not meant to be a blinders-on assessment of reality, of the future boiling down to whether one man lives or dies. It is meant to reassure myself and everyone else that the horrors come, and the horrors go, that nothing is permanent, that hope persists with split knuckles and blood on its teeth. Things are rough. Things will likely get rougher. My eyes are open to that, but in the end, the first thing they want from us is to roll over, surrender, die. And I will not be granting that wish. I deserve to be here. You deserve to be here. We deserve to see the sun rise. And it will. I promise.
#āthis isnāt a fantasy novelā yes thank you if it were Iād have a cool sword at the very least#but what I have instead is a dozen tiny reasons to keep going#my wife. my pets. my stories. to see how my favorite tv show turns out.#to watch my nephew grow. to laugh with my siblings. to cry with my parents.#to see the movies Iāve missed and read books that havenāt yet been written#and above all else: to prove that I can. that I can stay. that I can see just one more sunset. one more snowfall. one more pride parade#one more. one more. one more.#itās one day at a time. it always has been.#it will be bad. I am not disputing that. I came into this year terrified that it would be my last one on earth#but so long as I have a say: I say no. I say I belong here. i say fuck you.#it will be bad. of course it will. it will be terrifying.#and I will be here because the simple fact of my queer ass continuing to draw breath#can help ruin the day of the worst people alive
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zombies + text posts (pt 3)
(1 2)
#loving bree and bucky doing the exact same pose (she's not loving it)#and obviously the āhuman rightsā is more like just equal rights for all species but let's move on#zombies#disney zombies#zombies 2#zombies 3#zed necrodopolis#addison wells#willa lykensen#wynter barkowitz#a-spen#bucky buchanan#bree zombies#zeddison#willaspen#willa x a-spen#AGAIN NO VARIETY JUST LIKE MY RECENT HSMTMTS ONE#due to the god awful aspect ratios in z2 and z3#i had to position a handful of these text posts ABOVE their heads and they look so awkward and i want to cry#please tell me that they look normal#also don't really know what this layout is but it's whatever#venux makes text post memes
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maybe if i just put these screenshots together youll understand why i think their relationship just Works so well as it pertains to the characters and themes of S4 in general
neither of them know what theyre doing, but theyre figuring it out Together. the old ways are dead. and together theyll build a new future thats worth fighting for
#twdg#violentine#clems āi dont knowā paired with violets ālets figure it out togetherā. screaming crying throwing up#clem never knew what she was doing!! she was just trying her best!! and now shes tired as SHIT!!! she wants a break š!!!#vi helps take that weight off by supporting her as much as she does (which is A LOT!! and clem supports her in return. they grow together)#that bit in the woods where instead of getting grossed out by the guts vi crouches down to ajs level and keeps the situation calm#and she looks up to clem and gives her a little smile. and clem just relaxes and smiles back !! DO YOU UNDERSTAND !!!#clem being anxious about her reaction. violet putting her at ease. clem getting to Relax for 2 seconds. they help each other CHILL š#ALSO why their walk home talking about ericson and renaming it and imagining what they could add to it is just so good narratively#they turned that prison into their HOME!! a place worth fighting for!!!#tenn wanting to help rebuild. vi saying Everyone will :') its a home for ALL OF THEM š its about the COMMUNITY !!!#this is also why i think the friends route still works but theres just even more Juice with the romance. even ignoring minnie#violets āyou better not disappear on meā. friended clems āokā to romanced clems āi promiseā#in a season about building a home and a family that second one just hits harder you know? and like above with the learning to dance#i just feel like their romantic relationship specifically fits into the overall themes of the game the strongest and elevates it#me talking at the wall (tumblr drafts)#all of my friends who have played twdg are too normie so i gotta make posts like this instead. or i'll die#wont somebody analyze narrative with me#it speaks
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thinking of uu!ash leaving uu!red desolate. ash leaving red to do other things after making him fervently devoted to him. and red begs him to stay because it's the quiet he's been longing for a guidance he needs and he feels like he can relax just a bit around ash. and ash leaves. Do you get it
#~#i'm sorry i'm like. the idea of red all snot-nosed on his knees begging ash to stay and ash just has his fists in red's hair and for a seco#nd red thinks he'll stay; that he'll feel those gloved fingers in his dirty blonde hair for just a little longer#but his hands unclench from red's hair. and he gives a stern no. and just as fast as he was above red he's gone#and red is just left on his knees quietly crying and shaking#okay. whatever.#lead some boy who craves to relax once in a while to relax around you and feel like he doesn't have to be so headstrong around u#and them leave him#10/10 for making him cry. for him it is psychologically damaging and he will never forgive you but that's a lie because when you return he-#-ll yip like a happy little dog that you're back#I'M NORMAL. I'M NORMAL. I'M NORMAL.#swagdoons
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you actually shouldnāt get into ace attorney if you arenāt already because i will just be going about my day before randomly being assaulted by the knowledge that a prominent and integral part of blackquillās design are literal permanent TEAR TRACKS like when i say that i am DEVASTATEDā
#ace attorney#simon blackquill#please save yourselves#we need to talk about it more like ??????#he CRIED#how much did he cry!!!#and the white part in his hair!!#that was a BABY!!!! a good baby!!!#who saw awful things!!! and just wanted to save a little girl that he loved!!!#i think about blackquill ALL the time#about how so much of the series revolves around āthe truth above all elseš¤ā#and how he threw the entire POINT away#he threw away the themes along with his LIFE because he CARED SO MUCH#ive been having a lot of blackquill feelings lately#if you cant tell#dual destinies spoilers#ace attorney spoilers#<- in case lol#wait get it CASE#sorry
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Stolitz would be so much better and a lot more flavorful if Stolas really was a bratty prince who had lived a long life and was looking for something fun and new just for the sake of it only to accidentally fall in love with his "toy." I loved him a whole lot more when I thought he was a sassy and messy ancient being looking for a good time and I was even able to still like him (albeit a lot less) after that was changed.
But these days it feels like I am being forced to feel bad for Stolas. Every episode he's in, it's another sad thing with him I have to learn. Like
If Stolas really was a big, strong, ancient being who really was trying to figure out how to build a relationship out of something he created only for fun and sex and how to apologize for seeing Blitz as a "plaything" and making him feel like a toy- if ANYTHING was just HIS FAULT -I would be there so much.
But he's not that, unfortunately.
He is unfortunately just a really sad guy in his late-thirties going through a midlife crisis and a messy breakup.
#helluva boss#NOT a helluva critical post DO NOT tag as helluva critical#i will NOT be lumped with the helluva critical people they are usually some of the corniest joyless people#this is just an opinion i have of Stolas and stolitz#stols just isn't as interesting as he was when he appeared to be a sassy above it all royal guy just looking for a good fuck with a peasant#it feels like they want me to cry over him all the time but they're not giving me good reasons and i don't want to cry over him ALL THE TIM#GIVE THAT BITCH A GOOD DAY GOOD DAMN
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you get riz gukgak so well šš
thank u!! he really kinda is all of my favourite character things rolled into one package (negotiation of principles/investigator-truth seeker-negotiator with reality and the narrative/obnoxious character whose narrative reward for participating in the story is getting to be even more authentically obnoxious/deeply and hauntingly aroace
#not art#everything else abt him is also compelling so Im just eating well while crying over here#the aroace part I believe from the bottom of my heart the moment he bribed a girl in freshman year First Day Of School to eavesdrop for him#In The Girl's Bathroom. like the decision itself isnt far off from a lot of noir stuff trapp's character in mentopolis did the same#but the supreme lack of awareness of what that decision says abt you in a social setting. now That's aroace#the only reason I dont read him as agender too is bc he didnt straight up waltz in there lmao#honestly bouncing off of that I also thinks folks sometimes downplay or buff off how cringe riz is... but its my favourite thing on earth#esp. in tandem with the Everything else abt him. theres an insistence in the genres he pulls from on the greater good and losing#ur real self in the work and being maybe strange but above all The Guy Who Gets The Job Done. and riz pushing the limit of that is awesome#like as a character I feel like some of it is like yeah I do get the job done. if it kills me even. how Strange do I get to be#or is it just being strange in a domineering and mysterious magnetic way. I will be cringe actually deal with that for my service#this and the part of his character that's yknow. Living While Goblin. that's a deeply compelling dynamic to me#anyways uhhh once again typing huge paragraphs abt this guy lmao. this happens forever I let it#anyways for the reason of spy theming and information dealer if u do class swap AU I propose bard!riz#u know. what is disguise if not a sister to stealth (<- extremely transgender sentence to say)
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Is it really brainrot if you haven't had a dream where you were a character in the show
#this is directed to Mr. Jonathan Sims and to grian#Both of these dreams where nightmares btw#What that says about me idk#Also after I woke up from the grian one I debated my gender for like... 3 hours with myself#The grian one was a murder mystery airport with cannibalism#The jon one was where Elias and Michael Distortion teamed up to show Jon himself from different universe's#And what he would look like if different fears claimed him#The flesh one had a pair of scissors in his eye and didn't even acknowledge it#When he saw the universe where all had gone well he started crying because āthat could've been him if only he didn't fail. If only he was b#Eventually he lost his mind wandering the halls with lost opportunities and chances surrounding him#These were both in first person btw#I felt all the emotions they felt#the magnus archives#the magnus pod#the magnus institute#jonathan sims#jon sims#jon archivist#jon tma#jarchivist#elias bitchard#elias bouchard#Theyre was one au in the tma one where there was a vast!Jon who was tied up because according to Elias he kept ākicking down the starsā#He was all tied up like he was stuck in a spider web with his legs just inches above the ground#grian#hermitcraft grian#grianmc#The grian one wasn't as scary but it was the first of these dreams#dreams#one time i dreamt
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man I sure hope vivinos DOESN'T post ANY round 7 teasers, especially if they're about TILL...that'd be so boring...
#alien stage#alnst#THIS IS A CRY FOR HE-#*gets snatched before i finish my sentence as the screen goes black and static cuts*#or Till finally finally gets a cover of black sorrow idk....juat throwing that out there and all...#man i just hope above else it isnt a post about that twink till :laugh:
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i forgot to share theseš
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. from last year (yes i am a genius). first one is a comm from jean and second was an art trade with ghost
#ALL I SAID WAS SURPISE ME. OKAY#no prompts no nothing except for like uh specifically those 2 in the images seen above (audience groans)#im working on ghostās trade but i keep scrapping it bc my coloring keeps changing BOOOOO#stop this is like blinding killing stabbing blood to me I canāt look at this too long or ill go cray#a&o#all I remember is crying over these after christmas#U DONT UNDER STANDā¦ā¦. they r my everything but I have to look nonchalant to everyone else#I donāt speak abt them that much but just know I draw them all the time bc itās like clockwork to meš ill share them later
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My kids and grandkids will never know how Joe and David made significant changes in my viewpoint of love. They will never know how Joe resented David because he sneaked in Old Spice in the European war theater, how it frustrated Joe that while his snarky, mean behavior is always about David and his viciously gorgeous blue eyes, he actually does want to listen to him talk about school and how he was a student at fucking Harvard before joining the paratroopers. They won't see me stare into nothing, thinking about how Joe would dream about David in the cold, winter hell in Bastogne. They will never know the terrified pants during Toccoa, the thrill of being caught during Aldbourne, the stare at the airstrip, the waves of pleasure and relief back in England after d-day, the burning jealousy when Joe looked at how Tab spinned David in Eindhoven and carding his fingers through his inky black hair, and when Joe just silently patched up David the night of the patrol. Oh no, they'll be clueless when Easy thought David died when a German squad intercepted an army jeep, taking him prisoner until David was rescued in Haguenau and Joe never leaving his side when he realized it was David that he's been carrying to safety. They won't hear about my sobs when Joe is gonna keep calling David 'Web' because David's name stirs his guts and his pulses scream with repressed affection, because come on, it's fucking DAVID. The kids will never know that Joe worked, dragged his forlorn mental health, and built his war-torn life from pieces just to propose to David with a table because he can't give David a room to write yet. And then, they'll never know why David didn't invite Joe on his wedding, and why Joe didn't notify David of a promise before he went to war, and how they both didn't realize what they lost.
#im just gonna lock myself and cry in a corner because to be honest a ship never stuck with me this long than webgott#seriously the fics ive read are ridiculously priceless#should put them in a glass box and show it in a museum or smthn#reflected on the fics ive read these months and last year and all i can say is it is mostly about the obscure amount of webgott and winnix#band of brothers#joe liebgott#david webster#webgott#dick winters#lewis nixon#hbo war#band of brothers fanfic#winnix#the ones above didn't even took half of the ones ive read#and this is only from ao3
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REALLY hope that nobody snapped a picture of Clark and Lois kissing because if Sam ever reads the paper and sees a picture of his daughter being smooched in the air by the so-called "invader" on the front page, any reservations he might have had about going after Superman are going straight out the window.
#my adventures with superman#my adventures with superman spoilers#my adventures with superman episode 9#maws#maws spoilers#maws episode 9#maws clark kent#maws superman#maws lois lane#clois#maws clois#maws the general#I highly doubt this would happen#but can you imagine#sam is having all this doubt about killing superman after seeing him cry#but then he gets a newspaper from the planet#and all you see on the front page is someone's pic of superman and lois kissing in the air above the planet#and he just loses his shit and just goes#nope he's gotta die#I wonder if next episode we're gonna see sam come to metropolis under the guise of checking on lois#and the entire time he's trying to kill superman under waller's command#but then he sees superman rescue lois and he just drops the mission or something to that affect#but who knows
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so you write Oz like itās high concept novel quality I just wanted to say that first off. Fontana should give you the rights tbh
curious as to if you see the potential to ever write Miguel/Alonzo as romantic or mutual? the way you write them is so rawly intriguing and ambiguous the way it is dgmw! just that I find it interesting to consider them in all different configurations w romance+the Consequences thereof as one of many options
Hahah thank you <3
Idk, tbh Iāve never thought of writing Miguel/Alonzo straight upā¦ I know I have like 1 fic tagged as them but I should probably take that tag off the fic bc itās not really there like that/I scaled back on some of stuff I had planned anyway :Sā¦ Itās kinda funny because I remember watching Oz Youtube clips before Iād watched the show (like, back in middle school maybe, when I was a dumb little homo desperate to find queer rep in media blah blah blah). Back then lowkey highkey being very intrigued by Torquemada, but then I watched the actual show and I was like oh booā¦ Heās barely in it.
Thatās all to say, I find him entertaining as a character and I think itād be interesting to try and tackle a character study of him (of course, Iād be making up a lot š„“) but I donāt think my default interpretation of his character is really a thing that makes it possible to write him in any kind of romantic relationship, you know? Based on what little we learn of him from the show, I feel like his main thing is like getting off on power imbalances, voyeurism, enmeshmentāthat kind of thing. Which is interesting! But yeah, no, I donāt really see romance for him. Without getting too into it, he seems moreā¦ business minded, to me? I feel like he just wants to scare the hoes and get rich, which is pretty funny of him. I think exploring some kind of dynamic between Miguel and Alonzo that I havenāt already done yet would be fun bc I tend to write Alonzo as just a creep near Miguel, unless heās an AU version of himselfā¦ and honestly, I prefer the idea of a fun, chaotic Torquemada to the creep but it's so clear that Miguel thinks Alonzo's a creep that I guess I end up writing him that way too š¤·š»āāļø
Writing a fic where Alonzo turns out to be actually helpful/a tentative ally once/if Miguel is able to set boundaries/get his head on right, etc, would be interesting š¤, but yeah, thatās about the extent of where my headās at with them. Plot Plot, not ship stuff LOL.
(Rambled, sorry + this is probably not the answer you were looking for so sorry x2)
Tldr: I donāt think writing Miguel/Alonzo as mutual or romantic is really in the cards for me atm
#text#answered ask#heffer-wen#miguel alvarez#alonzo torquemada#is it lame of me that i just want to write about alonzo's adventures in taking over the drug trade like. we were robbed....#idrgaf about what torquemada does w miguel... where's the empire building drama. FONTANA.....#i guess these tags answer the question better than my above ramble#i don't have room in my tiny little brain to be thinking about alonzo/miguel#when alonzo/power is all i can think about#where were the deals where was the epic highs and lows#the dealing with the sicilians?? the backstabbing the gays (i know he would have)???#crying screaming throwing up just thinking about it rn
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